Animal Jokes

 What’s smarter than a talking parrot?  A spelling bee !

Why are frogs happy? 

 They get to eat what bugs them.
​                                                
How do you keep a dog from barking in the front yard?
​Put him in the back yard.
 
Why did the chicken run across the road? 

To get a little eggs-sercise.
 
Why don't bears wear shoes?
They like to walk bare feet.
 
Why don't dogs make good dancers?  Because they have two left feet!

Why did the bear take a ruler to bed?  ​To see how long he slept.

Why did the cow cross the road?  ​So they could go to the MOOOOvies .
 
​What did the cat get on it's test ?
​ A PUUURfect score.

Which animal sleeps with its shoes on?  ​A Horse

What does a cat say when he is surprised? “Me-WOOW” 

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant ? Swimming Trunks

What does George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?  They were all born on holidays. 

What comes twice in a week, never in a month and once in a year?  The letter E. 

What goes up when the 

rain comes down?  An Umbrella. 

Which is faster, heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch a cold! 

​How can you make seven even?
Take away the letter S.

Can you spell eighty in two letters? A-T.

What do you call a story 

about a broken pencil? Pointless.

 Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
It's not right

What's the largest building?

A library it has the most stories 

Did you hear about the angry pancake?  It flipped !

What get's wetter the more it drys?  A Towel! 

Knock! Knock!...... Who’s there?

Cows go...... Cows go who?

No silly, cows go moo.  

Knock Knock........Who's there?
2:30............. 2:30 who?

 I made a dentist appointment cause my 2:30 (tooth hurty)

Knock, Knock...... who's there?
Dwain......... Dwain who? 

Dwain the bathtub am dwoning     
 

Knock Knock........,  Who's there?
Anna,........... Anna who? 

Anna body know so more jokes                                                                           
 Knock Knock,....... Who's there?
Ben..........,Ben Who? 

 Been so long knocking my hand hurts!   
 

Knock Knock...... Who's there?
Howie,.........Howie who?
Howie going to figure this out ?    

Knock knock.... Who's there?
Claire,.... Claire who?
Clear the way I am coming in.
 

Knock, Knock.... Who's there?  
Duet......Duet who?

Duet the best you can or don't Duet at all!

We wanted to share some of these simple jokes so you and your grandchildren can 

laugh and giggle all day !

My granddaughters favorite joke 

  Knock, Knock...... Who's there?

Who........Who. Who?

What are you an owl?

What insect can be spelled with just one letter? Bee.
​    

Knock, knock......... Who's there? 

B.C........   B.C. who?   B.C'ing you soon ! 

What did the spider do on the computer? He made a web site!

When does " b " come after " U "
When you take some of it's  honey

How does the ocean say hello?

 It waves!

Grandparent
"It was really hard for me to stop doing the Hokey-Pokey."
Grand Child
"How did you do it?"
Grandparent      

" I just turned myself around."

 What type of music are 

balloon animals scared of ? Pop music.

If a balloon dog pops, it becomes an “air” dale.
 

What did the birthday balloon say to the pin?   Hi, Buster!      
​

Knock,Knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?

 Lettuce make you a balloon dog for you, please.

​

 Why did the balloon cry ? 

 Because it saw a lolly pop!

Why didn’t Anna give Elsa a balloon? Because, she would let it go, let it go.

What is a balloon’s least favorite school activity?  A pop quiz

 What did the balloon say

 to the doctor ? 

” I feel lightheaded!”

 What happens to a balloon when you rub it on your hair?

 It gets ecstatic.

Why is a blown-up balloon more expensive than a balloon that isn't ?  Inflation!